Luke 2:19

I love the nativity story. I never get tired of hearing the sweet story of our Savior's birth. The wise men, the shepherds....all of it. But since December 2005, the first Christmas I spent in the role of "Mommy", one particular verse has pulled my heartstrings more than the others. It's a verse that often gets overlooked. One that most people probably read quickly through, or even skip over.  But good gracious, how I "get" that verse.

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."

I "get" it. I SO get it. I get staring at your baby and wanting to just visually soak him in...his tiny hands, his perfect little mouth....wanting to remember everything about that one moment. Looking at him and wishing that time could just stand still. Feeling like your heart could just about explode from the depths that you love this child. Trying to wrap your mind around the fact that this is YOUR child...YOUR responsibility...a little life that YOU are responsible for molding. As a Mom, there have been so, so, so many times that I've stopped to "ponder them in my heart". These moments are usually at night, when I sneak in to their quiet bedrooms and see them sprawled out, mouths open, dreaming away. (Gah, don't they always look so stinkin' perfect then....even when they've been horrendous during the day...at nighttime they look like little angels). Many nights I've sat on the edge of four little twin beds, prayed specific prayers over each child, and just marveled at the thought that little ole ME is their Mom. And every.single.time it absolutely astounds and honors me that our Lord thought that I was fit to be their mom. I treasure these moments. I ponder the responsibility and the blessing. And oh, how unfit I feel. How there's never been one night that I've thought, "Yep, today I nailed it. Today I coulda won that Mom-of-the-Year Award". Nope. I sit there and think, "Geez, I blew it today. But thank you, sweet Lord, that I get to try again tomorrow. Thank you that You trust me with these four precious, amazing children, because I know I just couldn't live without any one of them.  You brought them through high-risk pregnancies, weeks in the NICU, even across the world to be my children - and tomorrow you are going to let me wake up to four little faces expecting great things from their Mommy. Thank you that I can expected great things from YOU to try to make that happen."

I don't take my title as Mommy lightly. I think. I plan. I stress. And being a Mom to a three, four, five and six year old isn't easy. But at the end of the day, when it's all done, I stop. I treasure the moments. And I'll ponder them all in my heart. Because no matter how badly I don't want it to happen, they ARE going to grow up. That sweet baby I rocked on Christmas Day 2005- well, he's six now. There's no more footie pjs or rocking to sleep or me being the only one to console him. Those moments with him are treasured up.

Merry Christmas from our family.